Can Extra-Marital Affairs Be Justified?

Is it really justified?Extra marital affairs! How common are they? Why do people resort to it? Is it solely 'coz of dissatisfaction in the relationship with their partner or it can be because you like to screw around or is it that you end up meeting someone much better than the one you've married? Ohkay, you must be getting confused why I suddenly took up such a risqué topic to write on Well, can't really elaborate a lot about it, but all I'll say is, last night, discovered a very close acquaintance of mine having a relationship what I can potentially call an extra marital affair. How I came into that conclusion crosses the scope of this post. This's just too public a place to elaborate on it. But, I'd just like to discuss the very issue, in general.

Who the hell did you fuck?So, as I was asking...why do people resort to romantic relationships outside their marriage and in which cases? Some of the factors, which I felt might be possible, I've already mentioned before. Well, if it's 'coz the concerned person just loves to screw around, I'd say he/she is just obsessed with sex or maybe he/she doesn't like the same man/woman all the time to satisfy his/her carnal desires. Well, I don't really know if I can call this normal, by any standards. But what I feel is that the person needs a checkup, he/she needs psychiatric treatment. If you wanna differ on my theory, you're free to comment.

As for meeting someone better than the one you're already married to, I guess it has two solutions to it. One of them is, yes I'll use the word, compromise. If you wanna protect your family, if you wanna protect your relationship with your marital partner, you'll have to compromise. You'll have to remember that you're husband/wife loves you a lot and still feels that you're the best for him/her. It's grossly unfair to walk out on him/her. And the other solution, well isn't it pretty obvious? Walk out of your marriage and go where your heart calls. To some extent, I feel this's the best solution. 'Coz in both the cases, the other marital partner is gonna undergo through severe trauma when he/she gets to know the fact about their partners. But at least, for the latter, he/she will know that it's now over & over for good. In the former mentioned solution, there'd have been 3 people unhappy, in the latter, here's just one. But at least in the latter, the other partner too gets the freedom to search for someone more worthy, isn't it? I guess there's just one universal truth on which this whole universe runs, "Survival of the Fittest", what say?

Couldn't you even tell me?Hmm...finally coming to the topic of being dissatisfied with your existing relationship and searching for solace in some place else. Well, even here, I think there can be two types of dissatisfaction in any romantic relationship - one being the emotional and the other physical. Does anything else strike you? Then do let me know. So, where were we? Yeah, dissatisfaction in the relationship. I feel, both the kinds of satisfaction are equally important in any kind of romantic relationship, isn't it? Ohkay, I understand that to some extent, it just might be justified if you resort to infidelity 'coz of not being satisfied with your partner, but still, I guess when you are in any sort of relationship, you should be true to it. Ohkay, you're free to culminate the relationship and start another afresh...but it's highly unfair on your partner to carry on two relationships simultaneously.

Am I even making sense? I'm sorry if I'm not. I'm just a hell lot disturbed with my discovery and the worst part of it all, can't even discuss it with anyone. I just so very much hope that my assumption's wrong. Boy, that acquaintance of mine even has a kid! And it's the kid that I'm thinking of, the most. Why do people resort to affairs? Why can't they just be happy with their own domestic lives? Will I ever understand the true reason? I don't know! Will infidelity ever be justified? I don't know that either!!

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12 Thoughts:

jlc

Sunday, October 16, 2005 12:05:00 PM

Infedelity has been argued to be natural, as we are all animals. Men, in their attempts to spread their seed- are attracted to a variety of women. Women, like to be found attractive. Perhaps this is a vicious combination. However, I feel we have something other mammals do not-- morality. Morals, love and affection make it a tricky situation to just be a guy and continually go off and ;) spread seeds, so to speak.

I like to think we are all capable of distinct love for one person, however, some people ruin it for the rest of us, or seek further affirmation from multiple partners because they did not choose a partner wisely.

You can always say no, tell someone it's over, or walk away. Basically, cheaters- in my eyes at least- are weak willed and selfish. This coming from a girl in a longterm long distance relationship. Ive had plenty of opportunities and they stayed as just that. Fleeting moments I'm glad I passed up.


Jill

Shayon™

Sunday, October 16, 2005 1:07:00 PM

Hey...I liked one thing that you wrote, "we have something other mammals do not-- morality". But hey, tell me something. Should we stick to the same person because our so-called morals say so? Well, I too am in a long distance relationship, for the past 8 months. Now, that definitely can be a lot less than yours! But what I'm trying to emphasize on is that if I ever say no to some girl, it should be only because I love my girlfriend a lot and that I really wanna be with her and no one else. It should be because of my girl that I deny other opportunities than because of my moral responsibilities towards her. At least, for my case, I'd prefer to see my girl happy wth some another guy to sulking in my company. Nothing can beat the satisfaction of knowing that your partner's with you 'coz he/she loves you and not 'coz once she's agreed to be with you, she feels morally obliged to spend rest of her life with you!

Okay, allow me the liberty to ask you a question. Do you believe in the concept of soulmates? Actually, this is my girl's fav question, 'coz she's a die hard believer of the same and I ain't. I'm asking you this 'coz of a line that u'd written in your comment, "cheaters...are weak willed and selfish". Wanna elaborate on the context on which u used the word cheaters. What exactly did u try to convey with the word?

jlc

Sunday, October 16, 2005 11:48:00 PM

Certainly...
cheaters are people who feel the feelings you described (basically being trapped, knowing the one they are with isnt the one)and continue to stay with that person out of comfortability, fear, etc. Deep down, everyone knows their heart. Choosing to listen to it, or ignoring your conscience altogether is where people fall through the cracks.Cheating to me is worse when it is emotional rather than physical. Being with someone and thinking of someone else is perhaps worse than leaving someone for someone else. It's gutless.
Onto soulmates...
I think there is a fine line between soul mate and close companion. People say "you just know",... I think each person has more than one soulmate, but there is a stronger connection with one, overall.
The term 'soulmate' is like 'God'. It's an unviewable ideal. I think I have found mine. Who knows? It's like chocolate..you found a really good one, but is it the BEST one out there? We are kittens for curiousity. Still, I stick to my guns... keep it in your pants unless you want to hurt feelings kids,...or at least have the balls to break it off.
Cheers....
Jill*
http://jillicious1.blogspot.com/

Sakshi

Tuesday, October 18, 2005 4:02:00 PM

Well... i completely agree with what jill has to say.
i am the guys girl.. and with both of us in a long distance relationship... many a times we had the chances to cheat on each other.. but the satisfaction... which we get from each other never ever let us stray from the path.
I feel that communication and trust are the two main factors onwhich the foundations of a relation are laid.. and most of the cases the communiction part lacks and when u cant communicate your feelings with your own partner how can u trust that person.
Its the emtional stability that we look for in a relationship...the physical comforts come much later.
And if i cannot put across my feelings or my thoughts to my guy.. then for what are we in a relationship?
The moment you stop emotionally connecting with your partner the relation is over.
Physicl satisfaction... u can get even with whores... but not the emotional support..that you need inyour everyday life.

ABOUT SOOULMATES...yes i do believe in the term soulmates... but for me the soulmates are the people or persons with whom you can share everything... rather ppl who are like mirrors.And there are very few ppl or rather a person out there who can be your soulmate. I call sayan my saoulmate.. coz he can read me.. even with a single hi over d phone... or by the tone of my mail. Similarly my best friend can say something is wrong with me.. or that im sad or happy by just the timing of my phone call or the visit to her.
Its your own belief...!!!

Shayon™

Wednesday, October 19, 2005 1:10:00 AM

Liked what Jill said that the concept of soulmates is like an unviewable ideal. It certainly sounds good...but the idea that there's always someone in this cosmos, meant to be just for you...seems really kiddish and stupid to me. Or even if I agree to it, what is the guarantee that do get to meet him/her? What if he/she is at the other side of the globe?

Well,suddenly something struck me. Ohkay, I'm discussing it just as an hypothetical situation, taking into consideration that the world is the absolute ideal one, with each and every individual having just the perfect ideals. Talkinf of an ideal society, 'coz isn't that what we all are trying to achieve, at the end of the day?

Anyways, Here's the scenario for both Jill and Sakshi...suppose you fall in love with some guy and do commit to him...then suddenly, in a few years or so, you meet someone you feel is a much better option...is a much much better guy, better partner for you than the existing one you'd previously committed to...and you find yourself falling for him and that it's rather vice-versa. What do you do then? Will you confess your feelings to your then boyfriend? Will you compromise your feelings and still stay with your boyfriend? Or is it that you make the poor realise that anyways neither of you people are gonna be happy with th compromise and that you should better separate your ways? What will you do, girls?

sakshi

Wednesday, October 19, 2005 1:53:00 PM

Well... even in this idealistic society of ours... I still maintain the fact that ATLEAST i am gonna fall in love once.. and never twice....!!! That is what my belief is. And I do think sayantan.. that I have already faced one situation of this kind.. and I was COMPLETELY faithful to my Guy And mr Sayantan YOU KNOW it...!!!

ilovesayantanpal

Thursday, October 20, 2005 10:33:00 AM

Infedility is justified as long as the man fucks around with a women.
Everyone knows that women are objects created by lord jesus christ for our amusement.
I dont even understand why the need to drive a car, last time i checked there were no roads between the kitchen and the bedroom

Sakshi

Friday, October 21, 2005 11:56:00 PM

It seems that there is someone who loves you more than I coz whoever he is has put in their user name as ilovesayantanpal.
Anyways Mr whosoever you are... you seem to be living in a primitive society with an equally ancient mindset. You have used the net to write the fact that women are nothing but just sex toys start using the same net to change ur mindset to get to know the fact that women ARE NOT SEX TOYS created by God for male species to exploit. Coz if this would have been the case I am sure that u wouldve been a bastard. Before saying a word for women.. just remember one thing... That one of them is your mother and the other might be your sister. You can have everyright to put down your veiws on the issue and I respect it. But that doesnt mean you disgrace someone or somebody.

ilovesayantanpal

Saturday, October 22, 2005 1:42:00 AM

All I read was blah blah blah, I am a stupid whore.
Anyways, women are important to man as they help reproduce and clean and cook.They are almost as important as dogs and alcohol.You know what women in the physically abused shelter have in common,.... they just dont listen.

Sakshi

Saturday, October 22, 2005 7:24:00 PM

Well... I am still confused wether ur a girl or a guy.. u say that you are a stupid whore... no wonder you say that women are like dogs...!!!
This is disgusting... Start respecting women... or else you are gonna repent it...!!you seem higly disturbed you need psycatric councelling.. and if you want any recommendations ill be happy to give.

Shayon™

Monday, October 24, 2005 3:29:00 PM

Well M/s. "ilovesayantanpal"...it was certainly a surprise to find someone who has an id saying he/she loves you. Anyone would've been proud to have inspired someone to such an extent. But alas...now I'm ashamed that THAT someone, in my case, is a fool & uncultured specie like you. I guess Sakshi spent her two posts in futile, replying to you.

Ohkay, I realised Sakshi mae a mistake deciphering the first line of your last post. And well, I hope it's needless for me to tell you that it was the most atrocious thing you've written here. I had a very good mind of deleting your comments, but didn't do so 'coz I wanted people from the blogger community to realise that people as frustrated with their lives exist too in the cyber world. You comment on my page and even abuse my girlfriend right here, this is the height anyone could get. Well, I guess it's not your fault. You just confirmed something Sakshi had been wondering...that you're a bastard! Ohkay, enough of abusing for one post. All I'll hope that you dont comment anymore out here or else I'm gonna make sure that I collect your IP address and see to it that you repent your statements for the rest of your life. HAve a good day, M/s. "ilovesayantanpal"!!

Sakshi

Tuesday, October 25, 2005 4:13:00 PM

Wow... now tat was being very angry...!!! Anyways..it seems that whoever it was has finally realised that the mistake is his.